Story of My Life II
by FayTheLioness
Summary: Lyrae is about to begin her last year at Hogwarts, but this time she has a lot on her mind. She has something she has to do, but it will end her life as she know it! So what will happen to Sirius and her now? This is a year Lyrae will never forget.
1. Back Again

**Story of My Life II  
Chapter 1  
Back Again**

**Disclaimer:** J. K. Rowling owns, but I rule this fic!

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I looked over the crowd, trying to spot him. It was difficult but I would eventually find him. I grinned to myself; it's hard to be away from the person you love, but I will be with him soon, I just had to find him first. 

I walked past family after family. My own family wasn't here to see me off, but I didn't care, it was better that they weren't here to see me get reunited with Sirius.

I was just about to board the train when someone grabbed my arm. I turned around, surprised. "Kay!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" I asked as I hugged him.

He chuckled. "Can I breathe, please?"

I immediately let go of him. "Sorry." I said sheepishly.

"No problem, Lyrae." He smiled. "I'm here to see you off, couldn't let you go without saying goodbye." This time it was he who hugged me. When he released me he looked some what sad. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" He asked not exactly happy.

My own smile faded away and I got a business like look. "It's what's expected of me. I have to do this." I answered, but he knew what I actually felt.

"I know." He said and tried to smile.

The train began to move and Kay hugged me for the last time. "I'll be fine." I said as we parted. He didn't say another word but I knew all I had to know, he didn't have to say anything.

I closed the door and began to search for a compartment, dragging my trunk and Hedwig with me. Like always it was hard to find an empty compartment, but eventually I did. I opened the door and tried to heave my trunk in the luggage rack, but I found it impossible. I remembered last time, how I met the Marauders and how it changed my life.

Since I can be so clumsy I naturally lost my grip on the trunk and it fell on top of me. Crap! It really hurt.

I was just lying there, gasping in pain, when someone lifted the trunk off me. I sighed in relief when I felt the pressure ease. "Thank you." I exclaimed in gratitude; Merlin it was good to get it of me.

"You're welcome." A familiar voice replied.

I got up and grinned when I saw who it was. "Remus!" I said, hugging him tightly.

"Need some help with your trunk?" He chuckled with a grin on his face.

"Always." I grinned. Remus just smiled and threw my trunk in the rack. "Thanks." I said sheepishly.

"Always the girl in need." Someone from the doorway said arrogantly.

I turned around. "James!" I said as I threw myself at him.

He laughed. "I'm happy to see you too."

I held him tightly. "It's good to see you again." I said to him.

Someone behind James coughed. "Interrupting something?" He asked.

I felt my heart skip a beat and I became very nervous; I knew that voice very well. I looked slowly over James' shoulder. "Sirius!" I whispered, happy and nervous to see him. It had been so long since last time. He looked a bit older somehow and much more mature. His wavy, black hair was in a ponytail and his eyes shone with mystery and love like they always did.

"Lyrae." He said and smiled.

I shrieked and ran at him. Throwing myself at him, I kissed and hugged him. "I've missed you." I whispered in his ear.

"I've missed you too." He said, kissing my neck.

"All right, I think it's about time we left." James declared and exited with Remus, closing the door behind him.

As they left I began to feel a bit shy, after all, I hadn't seen him in months. I looked at Sirius; he was just staring at me with a grin on his face. "I've missed you." He said again.

I looked at my shoes and brushed some of my hair behind my ear. But my eyes couldn't stay away from his long. "I know." I said with a smile of my own.

Sirius took my hands and we sat down. He began to kiss them, trailing kisses up my arm to my neck. I enjoyed every minute of it; just being with him was enough. Suddenly he stopped. I looked at him, oblivious to why he stopped.

His smile was gone and he was serious. "What will happen now?" He asked in a low voice.

I knew what he meant and what he wanted me to answer, but the truth is that I couldn't give him what he wanted. "I don't know." I replied sadly.

"What about us?"

I shook my head and suddenly found my hands very interesting. "You know I can't." I whispered. Sirius didn't respond, but I knew he understood even though he didn't like it. "Sirius, I…" I began only to be interrupted.

The door to the compartment slid open to reveal Missy, Zandra and Lily, all of whom had a huge grin on their face.

"Lyrae!" Lily exclaimed, attacking me with full force.

"Lily." I greeted the excited girl.

"Let the girl breathe." Zandra said as she dragged Lily off and hugged me herself.

"It's good to see you again, Lyrae." Missy hugged me. "We've missed you." She said as she let go of me.

Sirius coughed to make his presence known. All of the girls turned to him and stared.

"Err…" Lily uttered intelligently.

"We'll…ehm" Missy said, not completely sure of what to say.

"Just go." Zandra finished and steered the other two out of the compartment.

I watched as they exited and closed the door before I looked at Sirius again. "So." I said.

"So." He repeated. "What are we going to do?" When I gave him no response he said, "About us?"

I broke eye-contact and began to fiddle with my hands again. "You know what will happen to us, Sirius. You just have to accept it." I said gently, not wanting to hurt his feelings. He didn't say anything. He stood up and opened the compartment door. "Sirius." I pleaded but in vain. I grabbed his arm trying to get him to stay but he pulled it out of my grasp and exited the room in a stormy mood. I didn't follow him, even though I maybe should have.

I sat there for myself for about two hours before Zandra, Missy and Lily entered. "There you are." Lily said; she didn't have a smile on her face.

"Where else?" I asked; my voice not exactly happy. I was in a bad mood ever since Sirius left.

"What happened?" Zandra inquired with a frown.

"Zandra!" Missy scolded her.

"What?" She shrugged.

"Don't be so insensitive." Missy whispered so I couldn't hear, but I heard. Zandra shrugged. Missy looked at me; she wanted to know just as bad as Zandra did.

"We're not… together anymore." I answered. Had we actually been together at all? I don't know. "Where is he?" I asked them.

"We don't know." Missy answered. "We were in the boys' compartment and we thought you and Sirius were in here alone."

"We decided to come and see how you were doing, and found you alone when we came in." Zandra explained.

"Well, it doesn't matter." I said as I rose from my seat. "I'm getting married soon and I can't fool around with other guys anyway." I tried to smile and pretend everything was all right, but my face betrayed me. I couldn't pretend not to care, I loved him.

Missy, Lily and Zandra all looked sad. "Ice cream?" Missy asked.

"Chocolate?" Lily offered.

"Both!" Zandra said. "But not before we arrive at Hogwarts." She concluded with a somewhat sad look.

The whole train ride went by in silence, it seemed like no one wanted to say a word like they were afraid to upset me or something. It was better this way, I didn't want to talk about it, share my feelings and things like that. They knew it and that's probably why they didn't speak… or even looked at me.

I looked outside the window and saw the familiar sight of Hogsmeade. I smiled; even though I was sad, the sight of Hogsmeade and the thought of Hogwarts made me in a better mood. Hogwarts was my home.

Like in a trance I walked with the girls, dreaming about the castle and what would happen this year, but soon my thoughts went to what I had to do and that I couldn't be with Sirius. My thoughts made me miserable and I became angry. Why did I become angry? This was what I had chosen; I chose to help my family. I shouldn't be angry, if anything I should only be sad.

Suddenly we were by the gates. We walked up to the castle, up the stairs and to our dormitory. It felt good to be back. I couldn't help but smile.

"I'll get the food, you stay here." Zandra said before she disappeared.

I followed her. "I'll come with you." I insisted. Zandra nodded and we walked in silence.

Down the stairs, through the halls with the staring portraits, and a sudden stop. I froze. Zandra looked from me to him and continued her walk to the kitchens without me.

"Hi." He said uncomfortably.

"Hi." I said back, just as uncomfortable as he was. I felt an urge to apologize. "I'm sorry." I blurted out. He didn't seem surprised or anything, he just stood there. "Well?" I asked, frowning. What was he waiting for?

"What?" He asked like he was bored.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"What do you want from me, huh?" He demanded in a high voice. "We're through, aren't we?" He shouted. "I don't know what you want from me. Sometimes it seems like you love me and all you want is to be with me, and suddenly you change and push me away! Make up your mind, because I can't take it anymore!" He exclaimed, angry. His eyes burned in to my own.

He scared me; I have never seen him so angry and sad at the same time. I didn't know if I should be angry at him or myself. "I…" I didn't know what to say. I made him this way, angry and sad. I had to end it; I couldn't let him suffer like this. "I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore."

His eyes changed fast. His burning look became sad and hurt, but changed back in to his piercing eyes fast; he wouldn't look or act vulnerable. It wasn't who Sirius Black was; Sirius Black was strong and didn't cry or mourn over something simple as a girl. Without another word he walked past me and was soon out of sight. That was the last I saw of the Sirius Black I knew and loved.

I stood where he left me, heartbroken. Now I didn't have anything good left, except for my friends.

At least I could concentrate on what I had to do now. But I wasn't happy. Would I ever be?

* * *

**AN:**

Hi!  
So I finally posted the sequel to Story of My Life. Hope you didn't have to wait too long. What did you think? Should I go on with this story?

You want to know something funny? Story of My Life is kind of like my own life, except the magic and all. I'm like Lyrae and my crush is like Sirius. It's very confusing and I hate it! And everything happened after I'd written Story of My Life! Freaky!

Just so you know I won't be updating every week like I used to anymore, my life is quite busy and I have a lot to do. But I hope you'll stick with me.

-FayTheLioness-


	2. The Talk

**Story of My Life II  
****Chapter 2  
The Talk**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter...

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Today we had four classes with the Gryffindors, it was awful. I couldn't stop stealing glances of Sirius and he didn't even look at me, but it isn't more than what I deserve. I crushed his hearth! He'll never forgive me for that, I know he won't, but I hope he'll understand someday that it was for the best, that we couldn't keep on doing what we did because it wouldn't have ended well.

I looked at him again; he was sitting by the Gryffindor table now eating his dinner. I sighed in sadness.

"Lyrae?" Missy nudged my arm to get my attention.

"What?" I asked simply, not even looking at her. I felt her eyes on me; she was looking at me with pity. Merlin I hated that! I didn't need her pity!

"You did the right thing." She said in a low, caring voice.

I nodded. "I know." I turned my stare somewhere else; I couldn't look at him, it hurt too much.

Zandra rose from her seat. "Want to go for a walk?" She asked like everything was normal.

I love Zandra, she knew what I needed and that wasn't to talk about my feelings like Missy wanted me to do. With a nod I left my seat and walked out the doors with Zandra in my heals.

"Thanks." I said in gratitude to her.

She didn't answer, just what I wanted. "Wan't to go to the Quidditch pitch?" She asked to change the subject.

"Yeah." I smiled.

We walked in silence to the pitch, not one of us wanting to talk about all the crapy things in life and how unfair it is.

We reached the pitch and Zandra pulled out her wand and summoned her broom. I did the same and as I got a hold of my broom Zandra eyed it. "When did you get a broom?" She asked. "And a WindStorm!" She exclaimed as she saw the silver writing on the handle.

"Oh, it's new." I grinned.

"I didn't know you even liked to fly."

"It's something I've found a fondness of as I was dating Sirius." I explained.

Zandra eyed the broom. "It's beautiful. Perfect length, the tail isn't too big and it's perfectly tied, the handle's straight except the little turn in the front."

"Yeah, it was the fastes broom in the store so I just had to get it." I said and mounted my broom. As I took off and was far up in the sky I looked down. "Are you coming?" I shouted so she could hear.

I saw her lips form the word, "Amazing." She climed her own broom and sped to where I was. "It's amazing." She said with such love in her voice.

"Oh snap out of it!" I scolded her. "We're here to have some fun."

She nodded. "Yeah, you're right." She agreed. She smirked and pulled something gold out of her pocket. "And we will."

"Is that a snitch?" I asked, frowning.

"Yeah, I... borrowed it from the school." She said with a sly smile.

I decided to not persue the issue of not stealing from school, so I just nodded. "How do we do this?" I asked, eager to start flying.

"We try to catch the snitch, what else." She said like it was obvius and rolled her eyes. She released the golden ball. "Wait five minutes and then try to catch it." She said with that sly smile again.

My eyes followed the snitch from where I was, but soon it was gone and I couldn't see it anymore. I looked at my watch; the five minutes was up. I looked at Zandra; she knew it too. She flew fast in the direction she had last seen the tiny golden ball, I flew after and chought up with her in just a matter of seconds. She was pressed against her broom and tried to get it to fly faster, pushing it's limits. I did the same and soon I was far ahead of her, but I couldn't see the snitch. I decided to take a risk and took a turn to the left. Maybe, just maybe, the little winged ball had changed direction. I decided to search the stands, but it seemed hopeless. I looked for minutes, but I couldn't find it. Done searching the stands I saw Zandra. She was grinning and I knew she had found it. We met on the pitch and landed in the center of it.

"You shouldn't have turned left." She said with a victorious grin.

I shrugged. "I had to take a chance."

"Yeah, and it wasn't a bad decision. It was just unlucky." She replied, smiling. "Want to go inside."

"No, but you go." I answered with a smile of my own.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I just want to go a few laps." I assured her.

"Ok. See you later." She said as she left the pitch with her broom over her shoulder.

I mounted my broom once more and sped to the castle roof-tops. I felt the wind press against me and it felt so good. I felt free. I found a top that suited me perfectly and sat down. I could see everything; it was amazing. The sky was beautiful with its red horizon and puffy clouds. It looked like a painting, a master piece. And the wind blowing gently over my face felt so soft and caring, like it was caresing my cheek. I can't believe I hadn't found this place before. This place, this roof top, was my very own. A place where I could escape reality, a place of peace.

I looked at my watch and it was over 11.00 pm. I had been sitting here for over three hours and now it was over curfew. With a sigh I flew back to the castle and walked straight to my dormitory. I was surprised to find everyone asleep. I tipp-toed to my bed and placed my broom under it. In a flash I changed to my pink and grey pyjama pants and a pink T-shirt, brushed my teeth and was ready for bed. As I laid down I felt my stomach growl. Afraid my stomach would wake everyone up, I decided to take a stroll to the kitchens and get some food.

I hate to walk about the castle at night, it's not like I hadn't done it before, but it's just eerie. It's so dark and dismal, but in some wierd way I had come to like it, but at the same time it was creepy. Maybe it's because of Sirius? We used to walk the halls at night on our way to the kitchens. I just hope I don't run in to him now, it would be too awkward.

But it seemed like faith had different plans for us. Just as I was about to open the portrait to the kitchens, Sirius was about to exit it. He got a weird look in his eyes as he realised who I was. I could tell that he didn't want to see or talk to me at the moment. He just nodded politely and walked past me. I stared at his retreading back.

"Hey!" I shouted after him.

He turned to face me. "What?" He asked with no emotion.

"I..." I didn't know what to say, I just wanted to hear his voice. "How've you been?" I asked, staring at him to see just a glimpse of what he felt.

"Good." He simply answered without any emotion.

"Oh, good." I began to fiddle with my hands, not wanting to see his cold eyes who used to be so filled with passion and love.

"Well, I got to go. Good night." He said as he left me and headed up to his dormitory.

I sighed, my heart ached like hell. I was tormenting myself, but I had to do this. If I didn't he would end up heartbroken, it was better that I hurt than him. He may look tough, but he's soft inside. I know it.

I didn't feel that hungry anymore and decided to go back to the dormitorys.

Once I was in my bed again I couldn't sleep. I just lay awake thinking of him. I couldn't get him out of my mind! Even if I did drift off to sleep I would only dream about him.

As I lay there, I thought about what I had to do now. I had to do something to fix my relationship with Sirius, we should at least be friends and able to be in the same room and talk to each other. I couldn't stand to not be his friend, we were so good together. I want it to be the way it had been between us, not a couple but friends. It would have been so great, us two laughing and talking about things without it being awkward.

Planing a way to get Sirius to be friends with me took almost all night, but I had a plan. Tomorrow I'll find Sirius and get him to talk to me, if he won't I'll find a way to get him to. I won't give up! We can be friends, I know it. It will help us both. It will be good for us. Right? Of course it will, why wouldn't it? I mean, friendship wouldn't hurt in anyway? Of course not! Right? Right? Well, I've decided to do this and it will succeed. Right? Even though I was possitivly sure my plan would work, the little voice inside my head argued. _It will never work, he hates you. Just give up! _OH SCREW IT! WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF? AND OF COURSE IT WILL SUCCEED! Ok, Lyrae, stop talking to yourself now. Merlin.

The night went by and I finally went to sleep, and as I had predicted I dreamt of Sirius. As I woke up I took a quick shower and got dressed fast. When I was done the others hadn't even gotten out off bed. But I had something to do so I had been up bright and early. I was ready to talk, realy talk, to him. I went down to the Great Hall and waited by the doors. The students began to come down and seated themselves at the tables. Finally Sirius showed up; he was laughing with his friends. He seemed happy. Would I ruin him if I got involved in his life again? Was I selfish for wanting to be friends with him, to be in his life again? Is he happy with the way things are now? I'm only thinking of myself. It's I who can't live without him in my life, not the other way around. Should I talk to him or just let him be?

He walked past me without as much as noticing me. I turned around. "Sirius!" I almost shouthed with desperation.

He stopped and turned. As he saw me he got a stone cold look. "Yeah?" He asked casually.

"I was wondering..." It seemed like the words were stuck in my throat.

"Yeah?" He asked when I didn't say anything.

"Can we talk?" I said slowly and almost silently.

He looked at James and Remus who urged him on. "Sure." He replied.

When he didn't move I said, "Privately?"

He followed me to the girls bathroom and closed the door after us. "So what did you need to talk to me about?" He asked.

I looked him right in the eye and answered, "About us." I watched his reaction to find any sign of emotion that I couldn't find earlier.

He almost flinched. He got a weird look, like he wanted to run or shout at me or something. He looked angry, but his eyes gave him away. He still had some kind of feelings for me. Inside of me I wanted to scream in happiness, but at the same time back off. He couldn't have feelings for me, even though I wanted him to, because we couldn't be together anyway.

"What about us?" He asked with coldness, but yet, hope.

It was now or never. Should I tell him that I wanted to be his friend or would it only break him? Or maybe I should tell him that I still love him? "I..." I knew what I had to do.

**AN:  
**Hi!  
Long time no see, right?

Well, now I'm back! You can thank an ananymous reviewer who wanted me to finish this story. But you can't expect an update every week or so, I have writer's block at the moment. But I won't give up this story, just so you know. I intend to finish it, even if it takes a little more time than planed.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank my readers and reviewers. Love you guys!

Thanks to:

muzical: Yeah, I'm finally back! I was beginning to think I wouldn't get up another chapter, but luckily I did. It was quite a dramatic beginning, but I couldn't write it differently, hope you liked it anyway.

Sirius-Baby: She follows her family because that's what she's been doing all her life, she doesn't know what else to do and she wants to help them. Sorry for the very long wait, but I just wasn't inspired to write more. Sorry.

Scubadiver101: Well, I finally updated, but it took a while. So sorry :S

PseudonymismyPseudonym: It was a cruel chapter, wasn't it? But it had to have happened eventually anyway. Glad you loved it, but sorry for the long wait you had to endure.

WritingisLove: I think you'll be happy to hear that I've decided to continue this story :)

kelsi hermione: Many people have said that they've been waiting for this sequel, and honestly I had no idea that it was so many. But it's realy nice to hear that you guys like my writing, it realy inspires me.

Neverending Shades of Grey: First of all I just have to say that I loved your review, it was realy good and it inspired me to write the next chapter. I always love to hear what people think of it and what they thought was good about it. And I totally agree about Sirius ;) I too tend to fall for the wrong guys, but what can you do?

AnimeOtakuBara: I will continue with this story :)

InLuvWidVan: As I've said to the others, I will continue this story :) And thank you, it's always good to hear that people like my story. Yes, sadly I have just experianced what Lyrae and Sirius have been going through.. but we're not together, we just fooled around for a while until he found another girl to snog.. But luckily I'm over him now.. I hope. I realy don't know since I haven't met him in a while. Who knows what I might feel when I see him again.. For now I'm good :) Thank you :)

Love your reviews!


	3. Hagrid?

**

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**

Story of My Life II  
Chapter 3  
Hagrid?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter...  


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"I..." I went over my decision again. Sirius looked expectant at me. "I just wanted to ask if we're friends?"

He smiled and laughed a little. "Of course we are."

"We are?" I asked, surprised at his answer.

"Yeah. I was pretty mad at you at first, but I realised you were right." He explained. "We could never be together. It was all just too hard. It's better this way, right?" He said.

I had to admit that I was kind of disappointed. I wanted him to say that we could never be just friends because he loved me more than just a friend. "Yeah." I said, trying to sound normal which I think I failed.

Sirius got a look on his face, a look of sadness. "Hey." He said and lifted my chin. "We are just friends, right?" He asked and looked me deep in the eyes.

I put on a fake smile and said, "Yeah, of course, what else." I sounded a bit unsure and clumsy with my heart up in my throat.

It looked like Sirius didn't know what to do. After a second or two he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me out the girls bathroom. "Lyrae, we've been through a lot. We have had our fun times and our sad ones and we won't give up our friendship because of this. I love you." As he said it I felt a faint hope, but it was crushed by what he said next. "You're my best friend. I don't want it any other way." He smiled down on me and gave me a hug. I didn't want to let him go, but he did. "I have to get to class, there is this cute, new girl." He said and winked. "Bye." With that said he rushed for class.

He left me with a feeling of jealousy. It stung. I hated it! I hated the new girl!

After a moment of hatred I hasted for the Astronomy tower, still fuming and hating the new girl, even though I didn't know who she was.

I opened the door and found myself a seat next to Zandra. "What's burned your fume?" She asked while eyeing me up and down.

"Nothing." I gritted through my teeth. Zandra didn't want to question me and dropped it.

When class was over and I was about to exit the classroom, Lucius stepped in front of me. "Hello, Lyrae!" He said in the voice that gave a sickening feeling deep down in my stomack. "What? Are you not going to even say hello? But we can't have that. We are getting married soon and when we do I won't have you acting like a whore." After he looked me over he added, "or look like one."

I felt alone and defenceless. Just when I was about to yell and throw all of my feeling at him, someone got to it first. "Hey! Don't talk that way to her! She has more class than you'll ever have! And if it were up to me, I wouldn't let you near her, certainly not marry her." He leaned in on Lucius and whispered, "And I will make sure you'll die before marrying her."

Lucius smirked. "Black, you don't understand, do you?" He said in a low voice. "Lyrae isn't your's anymore, she is all mine." He got a glint of evil in his eyes and whispered in Sirius ear. "Oh, how I'm going to enjoy her. Every day and every hour. You know how fine she is under all that clothes. She smells so good, like freshly picked flowers. And her hair's so long and silky... her skin so fair, and those delicious lips of her's. How I can't wait to taste them again. Oh, how I'm going to enjoy myself with her. Just the thought of it makes me want to grab her right now, right here."

Sirius' eyes burned with anger, but he soon cooled down. "She will never be yours." He hissed as he took my hand and walked passed him.

When we got to the Great Hall I yanked my hand out of his, which I almost reagretted because I longed for him and his hand gave me that worm, satisfying feeling. "Stop!" I shouted out in frustation. Sirius looked at me with a quizzical look. "Why did you do that?" I asked, lowering my voice so everyone couldn't hear us.

"He was acting like a jackass." He defended himself.

"Well... that's not your consern anymore, is it?" I wanted him to say it was, but he didn't.

"No." He said calmly and cool. "But you are my friend, and I don't let anyone talk that way about them." With that said he walked in the Great Hall, leaving me behind.

I was paralysed, what was I supposed to say to something like that? After a minute or so I felt anger! How dare he say something like that? We aren't together anymore, he doesn't have the right to say that!

I marched in the Great Hall, my anger rising. When I reached the Griffindors' table I was red in the face. "How dare you!?" I shouted. "How dare you say something like that!?" I demanded in anger.

Sirius looked completely bewildered. "What...?" He said and looked around the Hall, he didn't know what to say.

"You're an ass, Sirius Black! And you will never change!" I yelled and stormed out of the Great Hall.

* * *

The days passed and I found myself lonely. I was cooped up in my dormitory, only going out to class. I didn't even go out to eat and my friends became a bit worried. Lily came to visit a few times, but I wasn't much company so she only stayed for a minute or two.

I got out of bed and walked to the wondow. Looking out I saw a storm break in the horizon. The weather mirrored what I felt and suddenly I felt an urge to get dressed and go out in to the storm. Everyone was asleep and didn't hear me open the door and exit.

The night was beautiful! A bit cold but it didn't matter, I was outside and the fresh air and rain drops relaxed me, soothed me. I wrapped my arms around myself and closed my eyes, feeling the rain pour over me, washing away my sadness. I walked to the edge of the forbidden forest, near Hagrids hut. All of a sudden I saw a giant figure in the shadows and I became frightened. I was just about to run back at full sped when I saw who it was.

"Hagrid?" I asked uncertainly. After all, I had never actually seen the game keeper.

"Yeah. Who's there?" He asked, trying to find the source of the vioce.

"It's Lyrae White." I answered. I don't know why I presented myself, he doesn't know who I am anyway.

He was close enough for me to see now and stopped in front of me. "Oh. Well what are you doin out here, in the middle of night?"

"I... I just felt for taking a walk." I replied.

"A bit late for a walk, ain't it?" He chuckled.

"Yeah." I said, starting to feel the cold.

He saw me shakeing. "You must be freezin!" He exclaimed. "Come on in, I'll get you some warm tea." He offered. I just nodded and followed him inside. "So, what is it that brings you here at night?" He asked while making tea.

"Oh, I was..." I didn't know what to answer so I just spluttered something.

He began to chuckle. "Afraid to get caught?" I nodded shyly. "Well, don't be." He said as his chuckles died down. "So what are you doin out here?"

"I'm having some... problems." I replied uncertianly.

He started to laughed. "Sirius Black will do that to you." He said, handing me my tea.

"You know?!" I exclaimed, embarrased and surprised.

"Well, everyone knows, it's not excactly a secret." He answered while his laughter stopped. "So what's the problem?"

I was a bit uncomfortable, but I felt I could tell Hagrid and I had to tell someone. "I'm still in love with him." I said with a sad exspression on my face. "But he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore, I blew it!" I continued. "And now I just feel so angry all the time!"

"If I had anythin to say I would tell him to get his business straight. It ain't right to keep a girl on the hook when he's not interested." Hagrid tried to comfort me.

I smiled; he's a kind person. "I have to get going now." I said as I rose from the chair. "Thanks for the tea... and the talk." I smiled at him as I took my leave.

"Anytime." He said, smiling.

**

* * *

****AN:**

Hi.  
Long time no see, right? Well I've been pretty busy and I've just had my English exam! SCARY!! But I think it went well, but only time can tell.

So, what did you think about the very, very, very late chapter?

Hope you likes it, but I can promise that the story will only get better and better. I have a perfect ending for this story, and for Sirius and... now I almost said too much.

Just wanted to say that this chapter's up because of a mysterious reviewer. This is for you ;)

Hope you will stay tuned :P


	4. Just Friends?

**Story of My Life ll  
Chapter 4  
Just friends?**

* * *

My conversation with Hagrid had left me with a few thoughts. _How did he know about Sirius and me? And does anyone else know? _Well, I couldn't exactly find that out, but it bothered me a little that people knew! Can't anyone at Hogwarts keep out of other peoples lives!?

I walked up to my dormitory and went to bed, but it was hard to fall asleep. I just stared at the ceiling while my thoughts roamed inside my head, when all of a sudden my room mates woke up and started to get ready for school. I jumped up from bed and got dressed in my uniform and walked slowly to the day's first class, transfiguration. As I walked down all the stairs I saw Sirius holding hands with "the new girl." I felt like pushing her down the stairs! But, I decided to just keep all my anger built up inside and let it go out on the person who was nearest me when I couldn't keep it inside of me any longer.

I entered the classroom and got myself seated, I saw Sirius kiss the girl goodbye. I burned inside with anger and broke my pencil furiously with a snap. Sirius heard the noise and looked at me with a smile on his dumb face! _Doesn't he know? Doesn't he understand? _When he noticed the wrath in me, he frowned and shifted his gaze else where.

Lily came in and sat down next to me. "What's wrong with you?" She asked with a puzzled look. I didn't answer, I kept my eyes on Sirius and concentrated my burning hate towards him. Okay, I don't hate him. I'm just… angry at him. Lily followed my eyes and sighed. "Lyrae, not again." She huffed."No, not again!" I snapped at her with a menacing look. Lily jerked her head away from me in fright and didn't dare to look at me again that day.

I felt bad and was just about to apologize to Lily when professor McGonagall came in the door with her stern look that demanded silence.

* * *

The days went by slowly as the weeks did. My feelings were weird, sometimes I wanted to strangle Sirius and sometimes just kiss him and never let go. I don't know what's happening to me, I'm all messed up!

"Lyrae?" Zandra startled me out of my thought and chair. Once I settled myself up again, she asked "What's going on?"

"Going on?" I repeated her with a quizzical look.

"Lyrae, you've been acting really weird. Lilly, Missy and I have noticed how strange you've been behaving." She said, concerned about what was going on with me. It was weird to see Zandra concerned about anything, she was always the one with the trouble free mind.

I didn't know if I should tell her about my confused feelings, but suddenly I found myself open up to her about everything. "I love Sirius Black, but he doesn't want me anymore, it's too late! But even if he did want me back, I don't know if it's such a good idea. And besides, I'm getting married, even though I don't want to!" I was done rambling and sighed in sadness. "My life sucks," I whispered and lowered my head in defeat.

Zandra lifted my chin up with her hand and looked me in the eye. "Lyrae," she said with a caring voice. "you've been through a lot, and you have many burdens to bear, but you don't deserve that. You are the most caring person I know, and I believe that you will come through this. You will find a solution to your problems, and you will find out what makes you happy." With that said she hugged me and walked away, leaving me to my thoughts.

It is up to me to find a solution to my problems, no one else can do it! And when it comes to what makes me happy… it's simple; Sirius Black. To get what I want, and what makes me happy, I need to talk to my family. This is going to get ugly and scary.

* * *

Christmas was approaching and I was in the library trying to be alone, when Sirius came and sat down beside me. "Hi." He said with a genuine grin. I just smiled fake back at him. "So, what are you doing for the holidays?"

I put the book I was pretending to read down and looked at him. "I'm going home to my family. You?"

"I'm spending it with James and his family. Good people." He said with warmth in his voice and a smile. He looked down for a moment before he asked me, "Can I come to visit?"

I didn't know what to answer him. I wanted him to come, but my parents wouldn't like it. "Ehm…"

After a few seconds without a real answer he said, "It's okay, Lyrae." He stood up and walked out.

"Stupid me." I scolded myself before I picked up my books and went to the dormitory to pack my things.

* * *

It is already Christmas and I've gone home to my family to celebrate. But things aren't going so well. I'm trying to get the wedding cancelled, but it's harder that I thought.

"Father! Don't you want me to be happy?" I screamed for justice.

"Happy!?" He began, quietly. "Who has said anything about you not being happy with Lucius? You will learn how to be happy with him, and every thing will be good." He said it like he believed it himself.

"I won't be happy and I won't learn to be." I tried to reason with him.

"Of course you will. And by the way, we have arranged the wedding to take place in February." Was all Father uttered before he left to attend some business stuff.

"First it was Regulus and now it's Lucius, make up your mind." I mumbled angrily.

"Lyrae Vela Vega Mira White, you shouldn't bother your family with these things and ruin the holidays for us all." My mother lessoned me before she joined Father out the door.

I couldn't do much, so I just sighed and agreed with her, "Yes, mother."

As I lie alone in bed on Christmas Eve, I found myself thinking about Sirius. How we first met, how we got to know each other, how we fell in love and how we broke apart. I felt so sad and alone, and I couldn't bring myself to wipe away the lonely tear that travelled down my cheek. It deserved to be left alone and tumble it's way down. Slowly but certain, I fell asleep and dreamt about the dark future I had in store. But somehow I felt and saw a faint light in all of the darkness. The light kept on calling on me, "Lyrae… Lyrae." I opened my eyes and I couldn't help but smile. I just looked at him and kept on smiling. I felt warm and a faint hope, that my future didn't need to be dark. It could be filled with laughter and love.

"Hello, sunshine." Sirius waked me up with his typical grin.

"Hi." I answered back.

"So, you're home alone?" He asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, so?" I asked as I got out of bed. In just my white night-shorts and my pink bunny t-shirt, I walked to my dresser and put my long brown hair in a ponytail.

Sirius eyed me, the look he had was a bit funny. I decided to tease him a little. I bent over my dresser pretending that I had lost something behind it. In the mirror I could see him checking out my ass. I laughed, making Sirius aware of my little trick.

"Well, since they're not home, we can do it everywhere." He joked, but half-heartedly I think he meant it.

"Yeah, in your dreams." I smirked and playfully kicked him in the butt. It felt good to be this close to him again, we could talk and laugh together again. But personally, I was after something more. I was going to get him back!

"Okay, so what's new?" He inquired curiously.

I knew he wanted to know about my engagement to Lucius. "Apparently I'm getting married some time in February." I sighed pensively. "But I've dec…" Was all I got to say before Sirius interrupted me.

"Yeah, but it probably won't be so bad. He's got money and influence, so you won't miss anything. You'll have everything you need." He said like it was a fact, but something in his voice reminded me of the old Sirius. If I knew him the way I think I do, then he wanted me to deny what he said. Does this mean he still loves me?

If he loved me then he shouldn't have said something like that. My anger built up and I wanted to hurt him. "Yeah, you're right! I won't have it so bad. This is the best thing that could have happen to me!" I smoothly lied to him. If he loved me and wanted me back, then he would have to say it, not imply it.

It looked like I offended him a little, but suddenly he was okay again. Was I wrong? Didn't he have feelings for me? But if he did, he would have to show it to me. My head's seriously messed up!

"let's get something to eat." he jumping off my bed. "I bet you have all sorts of food in the kitchen." He said with the old Sirius Black grin.

I couldn't do anything but show him the kitchen. I guess we have to do what we always have done, pretend to just be friends, even though we are much more.

* * *

**AN:**

Hi!

I know it's been guite a while, but I finally updated!

Thanks to all of you readers!

Hope you can review, because I'm unsure of how my writing skills are now since it's been a while.

-FayTheLioness-


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